Ebb & Flow - Life on the French Broad River

Life is different. Life is interesting. Life is hard to keep up with.

I'm in my last month of officially studying with Angela Cunningham at Marshall High Studios. It's time to find a full-time job and figure out a schedule to allow me to continue self-study. I believe I will stay in Marshall for the time being. I like the quiet and slower pace. Things aren't frantic here. I feel myself slowing down as well. A sense of urgency will always be part of me, but living somewhere that doesn't exacerbate it is lovely. This place is full of quiet moments of meaning. Or maybe it's just helping me focus on the moments that are already there but that I usually miss.

I love the sound of the French Broad River always rushing within earshot. I've never lived somewhere that has smelled so sweet. The spring flowers have melted like heated sugar, but now summer blooms like orange lilies and trumpet flowers are replacing them. I may be alone often, but there are always lightning bugs to keep me company.

I've met good people. My studio mate Dan has been a great comfort and an easy friend. My roommates, Frank(another fantastic artist) and Zane were a wonderful surprise. Having Chelsey, a friend from Norfolk, here eased my transition.

To help fund good times and my coffee needs, I've been posing for drawing groups in the evenings, specifically for Lawter Studios and Ben Long's drawing group. It's been an interesting experience being on the other side of the canvas. It's a valuable lesson. I have found figure modeling easy in surprising ways and hard in others. My feelings of exposure disappeared almost immediately. I came to realize that modeling for a drawing group is not about me at all. It's the parts, not the sum of them. 

I've learned a lot, and very quickly, drawing with Angela. I have learned to appreciate it, and maybe even like graphite, when I avoided it in favor of charcoal before. In the past, I have been very heavy-handed while drawing. I always seemed to be scoring the surface of my paper. While here, I have grown more delicate with the pressure I use while drawing. My perception of value has always been a significant source of frustration for me. I have not fixed this problem but have taken steps toward increasing my sensitivity to it. I'm physically more robust as well. In the past, I didn't make myself stand while drawing. I'm required to now. At first, the pain in my back and legs was distracting, but it eventually eased off. I'm stronger. I see more clearly. I translate. I've taken painful steps in the right direction.

I wasn't sure how I would handle drawing Bargue plates and doing cast drawings. They seemed inaccessible before coming here. I didn't understand the process. While not terribly skilled yet, I feel like I have the tools and vocabulary to unlock this mysterious learning method. There is nothing magic about it. Just like most things, it's hard work and discipline, but it's possible. Feeling that it's possible makes all the difference. I have less fear.

I miss my friends in Norfolk and Philly, my stepchildren, and life in Virginia, but I am also happy.